Paul used to be a blasphemer (speaking evil, slanderous, reproachful, railing), and a persecutor, and injurious (he enjoyed it, insolent; overbearing, arrogantly haughty; see Berry's NT synonyms). If you were standing for the truth, Saul would speak evil about you. He would slander you. He would spread vicious rumors about you that many people would believe. No one likes that. But he didn't stop there. He persecuted you. He grabbed you and dragged you off to be punished. He thought you deserved every bit of it, because you weren't as good as him. This is the same mindset Adolph Hitler had towards the Jews. Many cruel leaders have had this mindset, destroying people "in the name of God." When we hate another person, we too fall into this same attitude. This attitude makes us murderers in our hearts- 1 Jo 3:15. This is the ugliness of the human heart. Let's not walk away from the mirror without recognizing ourselves.

Sometimes I think we can fall into seeing who has the coolest testimony, as a way of puffing up who we were. But Paul is doing the opposite of that. He doesn't emphasize Israel's favorite tough guy, but rather the ugliness of his heart. He focuses on deception, pride, hate and hurt that made up the man Saul. He liked being a spokesman for the Jews, a defender of the truth, but he was really a blasphemer. He set out to further the cause of his people, as being God's people, but he was persecuting the saints. He convinced himself that he had good motives, but he was motivated by his own pride. He thought he had it together mentally, but he was ignorant. He believed he was a man of faith, but he did not trust in God.

We use good doctrine by starting with our own depravity, as Paul did with his testimony. It takes effort, both in humility and careful reflection, to be able to share our testimony this way. Paul not only sees himself accurately, but he puts it on public display. He reveals the heart attitude behind what he was doing.

[There are times that it's appropriate to share what we accomplished and then abandoned to follow Christ. We can bear witness that all the great things of this world are vanity, vanity; mere refuge compared to the excellency of Christ. By telling others that Christ is better than all that we had before, we can encourage them to let go of the things they are holding on to. Here Paul is emphasizing the messed up state of humanity, that Christ came to save- so he emphasizes how messed up he was. God help us to do the same.]

Seeing the particular sins that we have been saved from helps us to be thankful. If we don't see our wickedness, and aren't caught up in the greatness of what God has done for us, then we won't be very excited about sharing the gospel. If we only need a little deliverance, then we only need a little deliverer. It's hard to face rejection and hardship just to share something insignificant. But for some great cause we would probably do it. And Jesus is indeed a great deliverer. He paid a great price, because we needed a great deliverance. Paul was gripped with the great deliverance he had received. He had good vision. We could say he caught the vision.

Sure some share out of pride, to show off how "super spiritual" they are, as Philippians tells us. But aside from that, it takes a miracle for a selfish person like myself to get excited about sharing with others. And being caught up in what God has done for us will really help. It's hard to sell a product that you aren't excited about, and it's hard to sell salvation and you aren't excited to be delivered yourself. By seeing clearly the great work of deliverance that God did for us, we will want to share it with others.

Paul's excited that he obtained mercy. I think he is pondering in amazement when he exclaims "I was really messed up, but (strong contrast) I obtained mercy!" He's moved because he sees the real picture of himself as a sinner and God as the God who forgives. He's awestruck, as we all should be, that God would save a sinner like himself. God didn't give him what he deserved. God held back the punishment he deserved.

[I used to hurt people]: but I obtained mercy, because I did it [abused people] ignorantly in unbelief.

Why do people get hung up on this verse? I think there are a couple of answers. First of all, people aren't holding to the context well enough. But on the other side of the equation, there is a tricky part to this verse. Take for example the judge who has mercy, and hands out a reduced sentence because it was the robber's first offense, and also because he didn't use a real gun. If we didn't take the context into consideration (only for the sake of argument), it would be easy to think Paul received mercy because he didn't know he was breaking the law.

One problem with this interpretation is that Paul didn't receive a reduced sentence- he received no sentence at all! In fact, he received the opposite. He received super-abundant grace (14) and salvation! The scriptures at best would say he could receive a reduced sentence, but not complete forgiveness for ignorance and unbelief. If we forget about it's underlying meaning the word ignorantly (because Saul did have the gospel preached unto him), we still run into problems seeing how he could be granted complete forgiveness. The law treated sins of ignorance as sin. And if a soul sin, and commit any of these things which are forbidden to be done by the commandments of the LORD; though he wist [knew] it not, yet is he guilty, and shall bear his iniquity. Lev. 5:17. In the NT we read; And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. Luke 12: 47,48. The servant who did wrong and didn't know any better was still punished, even though not as bad. This verse can't be saying Saul got off Scott free.

Even more so he can't be guiltless for being an unbeliever. We also have to include this with the word ignorantly. It's part of the verse. And unbelief is the main sin that sends us to Hell! He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. John 3:18.

The other way we could take this verse is that it's obvious God had mercy on him, because he did something bad that deserved to be punished. We could say that football player could have clobbered me, but he had mercy on me, and didn't beat me up when I deserved it, because I really told him off. Even though I was asking for it, he had mercy on me, and held back the bad I deserved. I deserved to be punished, because I was acting like a total jerk. This is precisely the kind of mercy that every Christian has received.

I believe Paul this is what Paul is communicating: it's obvious that God didn't give him the bad he deserved, because he sure did deserve to receive punishment for what he did. Paul did the things he did because he was ignoring God, choosing not to trust Him. He was fighting against the Lord, clueless to the truth because he didn't want to know, and because he didn't trust Him. Paul is not saying these are good things, which somehow give him credit as not being such a bad guy. Paul is saying these are really bad things, and yet God had mercy on me. These things are the very things that send people to Hell.

These things don't give us a right to God's mercy. Having a right to mercy is an oxy-moron anyway. Mercy is not receiving the bad that we deserve. We sometimes cheapen the word mercy from what God means in the scriptures. We throw it around lightly, as if we deserve mercy because we aren't so bad. But Paul is using the word in its full strength here. He is not trying to take any of the credit away from God and give it to himself (which is what the other interpretation does). Paul isn't trying to say he really wasn't so bad, and he somehow earned His mercy. The context screams that he is giving all the credit for the good to God, and taking all the credit for the bad to himself.

Paul is identifying with these other people who are doing bad. They don't use the law lawfully, and as a result they strongly affirm what don't understand, with vain jangling. They are acting in ignorance. And their faith is feigned. Paul is identifying that since he received mercy, they can too! That's what the following verses will prove. It would be hypocritical of Paul to say it is bad for them to do it, but ok for him to do it. And Paul is not being a hypocrite here, but rather an example of humility, applying the law to himself first and foremost.

Verse 16 makes it clear, and settles the issue, that God's mercy on Saul was an example of how God would forgive someone as deserving of punishment as Saul. (I too deserved God's punishment, I just wasn't as good of an example of someone fighting against the Lord. For one thing, I didn't have the guts to do what Saul did, even if I was mad at someone.) God's mercy on Saul was not because of his innocence. It doesn't say he received mercy because he was such a good guy, or because he deserved it. It was because of God's goodness, in that He suffers so long with our wickedness. Saul was an example of how great God's mercy is, that God is willing to forgive chief sinners.

Besides, Paul isn't saying that he was totally unaware of the truth, as to say he had no way of knowing. The word ignorantly is never translated unaware; so as to say he was totally unaware of any possible way of knowing what the truth was. Saul was there when Stephen delivered one of the most powerful and convicting gospel presentations ever. He could have known the truth that day. Stephen explained to them what their problem was. He explained how they weren't using the law lawfully. He showed them how they were resisting the truth. They were cut to the heart. They had so much truth shown to them, that they either had to repent, or kill Stephen to shut him up. Saul was consenting to this man's death. He wanted Stephen killed so he wouldn't have to listen any more. And don't you know that he heard the gospel over and over as he dragged off the saints to persecute them? Remember what the word ignorantly means? Saul was choosing to not apply his mind, because he was choosing not to believe. He was ignoring God. Ignorantly and unbelief are both joined with the negative particle. Ignorantly = not + exercise the mind. Unbelief = not + believe. Paul is emphasizing what he chose not to do. He did not exercise his mind. He did not trust God. Saul's actions were negative, if you will. Saul is the one who chose not to do those things. He heard the truth, but he chose not to apply it to himself. He chose not to believe it. He was blind because he wouldn't use the law lawfully. He was deceived, but he wasn't innocent. Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts. Prov 21:2. Saul was at the same place as every other lost man: blind to the truth in unbelief. Lost people are responsible for that, because they are rejecting the Holy Spirit. They are pushing God away from them, not wanting to humble themselves and receive the truth. And ignoring truth in unbelief sends people to Hell. It is because we are sinners that we need to receive mercy, lest we have to pay for our own sins (ugh!).

Ignorant = not + exercise the mind. This word for "exercising the mind" was used to describe false teachers in verse 7, and all that they are guilty of. It is not giving thought. There is none that seeketh after God. People don't know the truth because they don't want to know it. Lost people are not willing to exercise their mind in order to search out God. When we share truth with them, we are often astonished how they just can't seem to grasp and retain the obvious. The reason for this, of course, is that they refuse to seriously consider what they don't want to believe. If it cuts against their flesh, or if they see a big cost involved, then they just "can't" seem to understand. They add the "not" to exercising their mind. They choose to be ignorant. Lost people, like Saul, choose to reject God by pushing away the truth when it comes to them. That's why Saul could slander people. He cared more about his little world where he was looking good than he cared about the truth. He was pushing God away, wanting to keep his life instead of loose it. That's why the Lord said it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks. He was pushing back at the truth. It's like a child rebelling over some stupid little issue and making it ten times harder on himself than if he would just obey. Jesus is standing outside, knocking on the door, and we choose to ignore Him. We act like He's not there. Lost people can know the truth if they want to; as it is written, seek and ye shall find.

Praise God, even though we are so selfish He comes and tugs on our hearts. If God didn't draw us, we are so selfish that we would never become a Christian. We would all act stupid and choose not to trust Him. If someone is reading this who is not saved, please respond while God is tugging on your heart. You need to act while truth is being presented to you. If you ignore Him now with the truth being placed right in front of you, how much more you will ignore Him when you don't have to think about it.

Unbelief = not + believe. Without faith it is impossible to please Him. We would rather lean on our own understanding. We decide to add the not to believe. Apart from God having mercy and seeking us out, we would never choose to trust God to run our life. Like Adam and Eve, we don't want God telling us what's best for us. God was not pleased with Saul's life. But he obtained mercy: he didn't get the bad that he deserved for not trusting God, and choosing to be ignorant. And praise God I can say this too!

Again, if we see the real picture of God's mercy, we will be excited. That's what Paul is saying. Praise God He had mercy on me, who disregarded the truth, and didn't trust my God!

Paul is being a good example for us. He is using the Law lawfully. He doesn't just tell us how bad these false teachers are. He writes his name on the chalkboard in giant print. He realizes what a wretch he is apart from Christ. And he's humble enough to share it. He is saying I understand about these false teachers. I know it's bad from first hand experience. I was a really raunchy person. And I want others to receive God's mercy like I did! We're all bad, but we all can find mercy!

We ought to catch the example of his humility here. In the first half of the verse, he is confessing to what he used to do to Christians. It would be like me telling the black community "I used to spread lies about your race, in fact I was actively involved in persecuting you all. And what's worse, I was so prideful, I enjoyed it." That would really be exposing the ugliness of our heart to the very people we hurt. It's so easy to back off that kind of humility and say things like "I didn't mean to do it," when we did too mean to do it. Praise God that in His family there is forgiveness when we confess and forsake our sin! Now Paul is pouring his life into helping these same people.

Maybe I'm taking a specific application of this verse too far (I don't think it changes anything in how we apply this verse), but I wonder if Paul had the Jewish non-believer in the back of his mind when he wrote the last part of this verse. He reveals that all his religion was a fake. He wasn't really seeking God. He was an unbeliever. Even though he epitomized what the "Jewish" religion stood for, it was all a fake. He reveals his sin so fully that everyone could identify with it.

It is easy to read this passage and see how bad Paul was, but I hope we are using this to reflect on ourselves too. God didn't give us this passage to look down on Paul. God gave us this passage to look within ourselves and find application. We ought to look up to this example, and take instruction in how to use the Law correctly. We all should be able to produce an ugly attitude list (in words appropriate to share with others) of what we used to be like. If we can't, something is wrong. We don't see a real picture of God's mercy.

After talking about this passage in a men's bible study a brother shared how he was an adulterer before he was saved. In fact, he said, he almost actually committed the very act one time. Even though this man had never committed the act physically, he realized he was still guilty, as Jesus taught, because that's what he was in his heart. For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Prov. 23:7. His testimony can speak to a lot of people, because all men (especially men) can identify with this. Our fallen nature wants to think it is innocent as long as we don't actually commit the act. We try to convince others as well as ourselves that we're really not so bad. But no matter how much we fool ourselves, our inner man is unclean, and unfit for the kingdom of God. We can't hide from God. Because that brother exposed his heart attitude, his testimony can help other men see themselves as sinners in need of God's help. We should ask God to help us see ourselves clearly, first of all, and then be able to share it so others can identify with it. People need help coming to grips with their sin. By us applying it to ourselves first, we can best help them face the truth of their sinful nature.

This is what Paul did, for example, when he said he hurt people because he was overflowing with pride (injurious). When we share our testimony this way, we help people to be gripped with their own sin.